I can't believe it's only 5 days until the wedding. It's crazy how fast the time has flown. I'm so excited. I'm excited for the day of course, but also for it to just over. I'm SOOOOOO tired! There is still a lot to do, but most of it is just small tedious stuff. Sean of course is out of town for the week and so not much help, but his being around isn't much help either hahahaha. I'm actually glad he's out of town so I don't have to feel guilty about not giving him enough attention.
Speaking of attention...I think that's going to be my greatest challenge. I'm really going to have to work on how to balance all my time. I still have to give myself a couple of minutes a day, Haley needs my attention, my family needs my attention, friends need my attention, my students demand A LOT of my attention, I'll have a husband that needs my attention too, along with church callings. I don't know how it's all going to work itself out, but I can only hope that there will be much patience practiced by those old enough to practice it, while I learn to balance my time and learn my roles.
I know that this marriage is right, but none the less, I'm terrified. What if I fail AGAIN? I've learned so much the past few years, but still I can't help but be fearful. I fear the uncertainties, I fear being alone now more than ever. I don't think I could survive another broken heart. These are probably just unnecessary thoughts, but they've been trapped in my head and I needed to get them out. So...there they are.
Yesterday was the Primary Program at church. It was ABSOLUTELY adorable. Haley was so excited and performed so well (for a 4 year old). The Sunbeam version of "I Am a Child of God" was priceless. Even with the hilarity of their version, the spirit of those sweet children brought me to tears. Thank you so much to Sis. Noble for all her love and attention to these little children. Thank you to Sis. Bickerstaff for her time and effort in teaching the songs and instilling a love of music in my daughter. Thank you to Sis. Hedgecock, Sis. Booth, and Sis. Conover for helping Haley to learn to to love primary. You all have been such a blessing to our lives. Your own children (and future children) are lucky to have you.