Friday, September 26, 2008

BIG Changes

So I haven't posted a blog in FOREVER. Why, well I've been busy...busy doing what? A ton of stuff. Yearbook and classroom planning, cleaning and organizing, being a mom, and

I've been single for nearly four years, and it wasn't until this summer that dating finally became FUN! Who'd a thought :-) Seriously though, since getting divorced, dating has been a chore, a punishment, an all around nightmare filled with tears, insecurities, and total frustrated failure. It's not that I'm not a good date or SOME of these guys weren't total losers, it just was never "right". Perhaps I was too critical, not open enough, or just plain not ready. Either way, I really wondered if a relationship would ever be in my future. I seriously started looking at becoming the "crazy-spinster-cat lady."

However, during all the bad dates and crazy crazy boys, there was always this "friend". The guy who would listen, flirt a little, and always be patient with me. For me though, Sean was always in the friend zone and could never possibly be anything more. Yet, I always trusted him implicitly. Sure, I knew he was a bit of a wild child, but his heart was usually in the right place and he was always willing to offer help whether I asked for it or not. Somehow he was always just "there".

I think about 2 years ago he started trying to get out of "the friend zone" but with all the stubborness of a mule I kept him there. I justified it by saying he was too young and my good friend's brother. He was off limits. We sort of dated a little over a year ago, but really it was like 5th grade dating...we talked to each other and hung out for a few weeks. We still talked and wrote letters, but nothing really came of it. In my head I figured he too realized we were just better as friends. Then this past summer, he showed up a little more forcefully. He wouldn't accept my brush offs and just kept trying. I finally decided to give him a chance. More to show him that dating would be disasterous and we were better as just friends than anything else.

I was wrong...I REALLY hate it when I'm wrong ;-). Dating someone was never more natural, never more comfortable, and never more RIGHT. I couldn't believe that "the boy next door" was really my future. He loves my Haley and she adores him. I've seen such a change in her since he came around. She seems more happy. I can't believe I finally get to give her a family. I feel so blessed. After only a few short weeks of serious dating, he asked me to marry him, and of course I SAID YES!!! I guess if I had to be wrong about something, this was definitely the thing to be wrong about.

So, we're getting married. We hope to be married November 22, 2008 in the Mesa, Arizona Temple.

We're in full swing with wedding plans. I can't wait. It's hard to believe that after years of either being or feeling alone, I have someone who truly desires to be with me for time and eternity. Other than Haley, he's truly the greatest blessing I've had in years. He's good for me, he's a great balance to my often too serious personality.

I'd love to send an announcement, so please send me your address. It's hard to believe that in only 8 short weeks I will be Amanda Lynn Jenkins.